Step 1: Prepare

Before providing feedback, take some time to prepare yourself - both for the substance and the emotion in the conversation. Consider what you would most like to focus on, and be sure that you are in a proper emotional state to have a productive conversation. Remember, these sessions can be stressful for employees and each individual may respond differently to positive and negative feedback.  Ensuring that you are in the right state of mind to handle the range of reactions you may get is important.  When providing feedback, focus on behaviors or actions, rather than personality, and provide specific examples to reinforce your feedback. Questions to ask yourself during the preparation stage include:

• “What am I hoping to achieve from this conversation? What are my goals?”

• “What specific behaviors/actions of my supervisee do I want to focus on in this conversation?”

• “What should I do before this conversation to ensure that I am in a proper emotional state to deliver the feedback?”

• “What might their reaction be, and how might I respond?”

• “What suggestions might I offer to help support the desired change?”

Step 2: Set the Tone

Both delivering and receiving feedback can be uncomfortable. The discomfort doesn’t mean that you’re doing it wrong; in fact, it likely means that you’re doing it right! One way to address this is to own the discomfort - start the conversation by noting that both providing and receiving feedback can be awkward and even uncomfortable, but that you support your employee, and that you’re on the same team. The feedback conversation is not about calling out the employee for what they have done wrong, but rather to collaborate in order to help the employee grow and develop.

Step 3: Start with Strengths

Start the conversation by addressing what is working; kick it off by asking the employee what she thinks is going well. Engage her in the process; you may also learn helpful information from this employee feedback. When it’s your turn, let the employee know exactly what she is doing well, and the positive impact it has on the organization; be specific and use objective data whenever possible. This is a key to engaging employees; a 2015 Gallup poll found that 67% of employees who strongly agree that their manager focused on their strengths are engaged (compared with 31% of employees whose manager focused on their weaknesses). Questions to consider asking here include:

• “What do you think is going well?”

• “What aspects of your role do you find particularly fulfilling?”

• “What are you most proud of?”

Step 4: Highlight Opportunities for Growth

Discussing opportunities for growth should be a dialogue. Start again by asking the employee to identify what he sees as areas for growth. The conversation may go much smoother if the employee is identifying at least some of the growth areas himself. If you have identified opportunities that the employee didn’t mention, address those next. Try to limit the focus to one or two primary areas for growth (you don’t want the other person to feel completely overwhelmed). Point to specific behaviors, and give examples of consequences of those actions. 

Be clear on your expectations. Then, work with the employee to create a plan of action for addressing the growth opportunities; how might he lean into his strengths to make a lasting change? Part of your job as manager is not just to tell your employees where to improve but to give direction on how to accomplish them. Questions to consider asking here include:

• “What could be going better?”

• “What do you see as your top areas for growth?”

• (After sharing your feedback) “How do you feel about the feedback I just shared with you? Does it resonate with you?”

• “Would it be helpful to brainstorm action steps? Would you like to circle back in a few days (giving time to process)?”

• “What is your understanding of your goals and expectations for this role?”

• “What can I do to support you? What would be helpful going forward?”

• “What obstacles might get in your way?”

• “How confident do you feel about the plan that we laid out?”

Be prepared that the employee may become upset and push back against your feedback, and/or may express frustrations with your role as manager. Listen and ask questions in order to understand the employee’s perspective. Stay open and curious; modeling this behavior will encourage the employee to also stay open and receptive.

Step 5: Set a Plan and Continue the Dialogue

Feedback should be more than a once-a-year endeavor. If you want to help employees reach their ultimate potential while keeping them engaged, then this should be an ongoing dialogue. (Bonus: when you have regular feedback conversations, then the annual review becomes a much less painful experience: the employee already has a good sense of his strengths and areas for growth!) 

Also, feedback shouldn’t only occur after something has gone wrong. If every time you go to the dentist, you’re told that you need to have a cavity filled, you aren’t going to want to go back to the dentist! Don’t be the dentist; make sure that your feedback conversations aren’t always associated with “I’m about to get bad news about my latest screw-up.” 

Schedule periodic check-ins so that you can monitor progress on previous goals, deliver feedback in a timely fashion, and have ample opportunities to share what’s going well and what could be improved upon. Questions to consider (or consider asking) include:

• “How often should we meet? Should we schedule a set, recurring meeting?”

• “How will we monitor and evaluate the progress of previously set goals?” 

• “If an issue arises outside of our normally scheduled check-ins, how should it be addressed?”

• “How can we make feedback an embedded part of our organization’s culture?”

Delivering feedback is always going to come with some level of discomfort, but hopefully these steps will help to ensure a smoother, and more effective, conversation.